what is spiritual direction? ... a story
The rain was falling through the fog shrouded canopy of redwood trees and plinking off the roof of my Pontiac Grand Am. I vividly remember sitting in that car, for 4 hours, in the parking lot at Mt Hermon Conference Center. It was February of 1993 and I was a week away from moving to San Luis Obispo to begin serving as a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I was seeking a ‘word’ from God that would guide, encourage and sustain me as I began this new venture and sought to make serving others through ministry the focus of my life. Coastal redwood trees occupy a special place in my childhood memories, not just their sight, but their smell and especially their towering and majestic presence. The redwood trees of Missions Springs Conference Center, just down the road from Mt Hermon, were a frequent companion at my favorite summer vacation spot.
Now I was grown and focused on hearing from God and the redwood trees of my youth seemed the perfect place to go. I was intent on hearing a word, a Scripture verse, an image, or something from God. Listening prayer was new to me and not something I’d had much experience with. I couldn’t say that I’d ever heard from God before and I wasn’t sure what to expect or even if I would "hear from God". When the rain let up late in the afternoon I unfolded myself from the front passenger seat of my red Grand Am and was ready to acknowledge that this had been a hard exercise, and at this point in the day, I probably wasn’t going to hear anything from God.
A nearby trail quickly led me into the sky-reaching redwoods on the hillside above the freshly replenished creek. I meandered slowly, looking up, looking around, looking up some more, listening to the sound of the dripping canopy. I don’t recall if I was still focused on listening any more or not. Looking up once more into the treetops the word “LIFE” suddenly popped into my mind. I let my mind follow this thought . . . “I have life, abundant life for you, that is like these redwoods, the tallest living plants on earth, that soar with majesty and beauty and that have held a special place in your heart and memories”. That was it; that was my first, and still most pronounced experience of hearing God through listening prayer.
Over the years I’ve had countless InterVarsity staff and other older Christian women and men disciple me; people I’ve sought out to help me grow in my understanding of God and my understanding of myself (which seems to be the biggest limiting factor in my growth as a follower of Jesus). I am still pursuing these things and now describe this seeking as my spiritual journey. I’ve been mentored and discipled by literally hundreds of books, preachers and speakers as well, authors and teachers who’s wisdom and further experience on the journey have helped me immensely.
In 2001, in the midst of some of my darkest days of anxiety and depression I was introduced to a Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr, who has become my spiritual father in many ways, certainly a spiritual mentor or discipler, a wisdom teacher . . . a spiritual director, who has helped me navigate the pain of anxiety and depression. But, not just navigate it, actually learn to turn around and embrace it, letting anxiety and depression become my teacher, my mentor, my discipler . . . the very thing that is bringing the kind of "LIFE" I heard God whisper about as I slowly meandered through the Redwoods at Mt. Hermon several years before. LIFE is about learning to let anxiety and depression transform me into the image and likeness of Christ, letting it help me see some of the deepest things in my heart and soul . . . that I am a beloved child of God, that God’s presence resides within me, at the deepest places, at my core, and that this presence of God is closer to me than my breath; that I no longer just believe in my head that God loves me, but that somehow through the deepest, darkest, most painful experience in my life, I have come to experience God’s love in my heart and in the depths of my being.
Richard Rohr and others have helped me tremendously in this journey through our conversations or through what they’ve written or taught. They have been my spiritual directors, Doulas, birth coaches. And, I’ve been a friend, discipler, mentor, director to hundreds of college students and InterVarsity staff over the years, offering the wisdom gained through my own journey and study of scripture and helping them see where this wisdom might apply to their life. I have given them guidance, encouragement, and hope on their own journey toward an experience of the deep indwelling love and presence of Christ, toward an experience of union with God (language the Christian mystics have used for centuries to describe the goal of the Christian life). I have found that I have gifts that flourish, that I have insights and intuitions in these kinds of conversations with people, and I find that walking with people in this capacity brings me tremendous joy and satisfaction, and helps me to experience the fullness of “LIFE” that I heard so clearly as I gazed up at the spectacularly glorious redwood trees that accompanied me on my listening prayer adventure in 1993.
This is why I have responded to the call to become a spiritual director, and I hope that this will in some way help you understand some of what spiritual direction is . . . not so much from a definition, but from a story . . . my story . . . and the story of God’s mercy, grace and love flaming into life inside, at the very core of my being. And waiting to flame into life at the very core of every single human being on this great planet Earth.
To find a spiritual director, get training as a spiritual director, or to join one of the regional CFDM Networks of spiritual directors, contact Todd Minturn, Hole in the Rock Ministries Director, [email protected].
Now I was grown and focused on hearing from God and the redwood trees of my youth seemed the perfect place to go. I was intent on hearing a word, a Scripture verse, an image, or something from God. Listening prayer was new to me and not something I’d had much experience with. I couldn’t say that I’d ever heard from God before and I wasn’t sure what to expect or even if I would "hear from God". When the rain let up late in the afternoon I unfolded myself from the front passenger seat of my red Grand Am and was ready to acknowledge that this had been a hard exercise, and at this point in the day, I probably wasn’t going to hear anything from God.
A nearby trail quickly led me into the sky-reaching redwoods on the hillside above the freshly replenished creek. I meandered slowly, looking up, looking around, looking up some more, listening to the sound of the dripping canopy. I don’t recall if I was still focused on listening any more or not. Looking up once more into the treetops the word “LIFE” suddenly popped into my mind. I let my mind follow this thought . . . “I have life, abundant life for you, that is like these redwoods, the tallest living plants on earth, that soar with majesty and beauty and that have held a special place in your heart and memories”. That was it; that was my first, and still most pronounced experience of hearing God through listening prayer.
Over the years I’ve had countless InterVarsity staff and other older Christian women and men disciple me; people I’ve sought out to help me grow in my understanding of God and my understanding of myself (which seems to be the biggest limiting factor in my growth as a follower of Jesus). I am still pursuing these things and now describe this seeking as my spiritual journey. I’ve been mentored and discipled by literally hundreds of books, preachers and speakers as well, authors and teachers who’s wisdom and further experience on the journey have helped me immensely.
In 2001, in the midst of some of my darkest days of anxiety and depression I was introduced to a Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr, who has become my spiritual father in many ways, certainly a spiritual mentor or discipler, a wisdom teacher . . . a spiritual director, who has helped me navigate the pain of anxiety and depression. But, not just navigate it, actually learn to turn around and embrace it, letting anxiety and depression become my teacher, my mentor, my discipler . . . the very thing that is bringing the kind of "LIFE" I heard God whisper about as I slowly meandered through the Redwoods at Mt. Hermon several years before. LIFE is about learning to let anxiety and depression transform me into the image and likeness of Christ, letting it help me see some of the deepest things in my heart and soul . . . that I am a beloved child of God, that God’s presence resides within me, at the deepest places, at my core, and that this presence of God is closer to me than my breath; that I no longer just believe in my head that God loves me, but that somehow through the deepest, darkest, most painful experience in my life, I have come to experience God’s love in my heart and in the depths of my being.
Richard Rohr and others have helped me tremendously in this journey through our conversations or through what they’ve written or taught. They have been my spiritual directors, Doulas, birth coaches. And, I’ve been a friend, discipler, mentor, director to hundreds of college students and InterVarsity staff over the years, offering the wisdom gained through my own journey and study of scripture and helping them see where this wisdom might apply to their life. I have given them guidance, encouragement, and hope on their own journey toward an experience of the deep indwelling love and presence of Christ, toward an experience of union with God (language the Christian mystics have used for centuries to describe the goal of the Christian life). I have found that I have gifts that flourish, that I have insights and intuitions in these kinds of conversations with people, and I find that walking with people in this capacity brings me tremendous joy and satisfaction, and helps me to experience the fullness of “LIFE” that I heard so clearly as I gazed up at the spectacularly glorious redwood trees that accompanied me on my listening prayer adventure in 1993.
This is why I have responded to the call to become a spiritual director, and I hope that this will in some way help you understand some of what spiritual direction is . . . not so much from a definition, but from a story . . . my story . . . and the story of God’s mercy, grace and love flaming into life inside, at the very core of my being. And waiting to flame into life at the very core of every single human being on this great planet Earth.
To find a spiritual director, get training as a spiritual director, or to join one of the regional CFDM Networks of spiritual directors, contact Todd Minturn, Hole in the Rock Ministries Director, [email protected].